Identsucks - RFC1413 IDENT service
RFC1413, also known as AUTH or IDENT, is the most pointless Internet service ever devised. Unreliable at best, as it involves client trust, and an invasion of privacy at worst. Everything from sleazy web servers to FTP sites to IRC servers is checking your IDENT port nowadays, and some of them won't even allow you to connect without some form of IDENT response. Still others will subject you to lengthy timeouts if your firewall doesn't immediately provide a "connection refused" packet.
So for the smoothest Internet experience possible, you pretty much have to return some string on the IDENT port. And that's exactly what identsucks does. It returns "identsucks" for every query, with a 5-second timeout and 20-character limit to mitigate flooding problems.
Source code to Identsucks v1.0
Installer + universal binary for Mac OS X 10.4 or later - courtesy of ProtoCat